I miss your smiling hazel eyes tenderly acknowledging my existence. My heart would skip a beat when our eyes met with adolescent bashfulness. Both of us gangley versions of our future selves. You with smooth almond skin that tanned to my complexion, wavy brown hair with summered blond streaks. I enjoyed chasing you to punch you for tugging my brown braids, and other such childish silliness.
Still really miss our discussions, planning sessions, trips to the library for our next acquisitions, and sketching our version of the good life. Science, History, Geography, Geology, Travel and our plans to go to University in Hawaii to be around people who looked more like us so we could blend in and not stick out like sore thumbs. You were a gentleman and a scholar beyond your 16 years. Most of our walks to the library included picking mulberries when in season and resting under the trees with closed eyes so your head wouldn't ache from too much sun. Only later learning it wasn't the sun that was causing your headaches. For the next year and a half there were medical tests, hospitalizations, operations and rehabilitation which seemed to leave you worse off. We shared an unspoken knowing that your time was short even if our parents weren't letting on. I tear up to this day as I recall when the sparkle in your beautiful hazel eyes dimmed, even though your welcoming smile remained.
Our special closeness hasn't been replicated, those teen years were tender and sweet yet tinged with the bitterness of loss and life. You sharing the illness portion of your journey helped me handle the death of my favorite Grandmother to cancer. You taught me the value of sharing one's inner most thoughts and dreams with someone special and I still cherish our special love.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
It's Been A While...
My pre-9/11 churn is another stamp on the passport to my inner journey back to the essence of me... still "a stranger in a strange land". I'm multi-cultural, multi-ethnic POC (person of color) with a prismatically global view of the world.
My prism is "colored" by:
My prism is "colored" by:
- Dad's Native American family, traditions and experiences colored his Dutch roots in these United States,
- Mom's immigration from Costa Rica complete with her Afro-Caribbean-Latina heritage intact,
- Benedictine Monks who converted my Dad from Protestant religion, before they could marry; guaranteeing Catholicism as the family religion. The monks' accents blended well with the Ukranian, Jamaican, Filipino, Italian, Portuguese, French, Cantonese, and "American" ones of parishoners. Thereby sealing my global view of the world, human-kind and religion at it's best,
- Irish Catholic Monsignor who let my parents know "your $5000 building fund contribution is peanuts" AFTER both my parents were hospitalized for life threatening injuries from a car accident. Injuries with life long effects physically and a couple years impact financially on the family business,
- International neighbors during childhood and University...their experiences in their home countries and treatment here in the USA. I saw my neighbor's Nazi internment camp tattoo and her tears as she gave me piano lessons explaining them. Only to see them on another, the book store clerk at University.
- My Dad's family history has military roots dating back to pre-colonial America with relatives buried in The Old Tennent Graveyard in New Jersey. He and Mom are interred in a U. S. Military Cemetery. They believed in America warts and all.
I share this information to illuminate my internal churn about the 9/11 and remembrances...
As a POC, Dad served in the SEGREGATED military in World War II, fighting for others' freedoms he nor Americans of color were afforded. I was at University before I figured out why we always had a picnic basket for each family road trip - no guarantee we'd be served at restaurants. I have childhood memories of Spring Hope, North Carolina standing in line waiting and waiting to purchase an ice cream cone while white kids were served before me. YES in the good old USA!
The 9/11 attack was a painful national tragedy. However, the same HATE and arrogance that powered those airplanes is ingrained in our own national fabric. To use the tragedy as a mechanism to rally and push forth the war-mongering agenda is disgusting. I take no pride in being an American when the 1st, 2nd responders and demolition teams are FIGHTING for health coverage for 9/11 related health problems OR the shoddy treatment of our military veterans and their families.
I may not totally agree with the Occupy Wall Street Movement, yet I agree the USA has to change the current version of the American Dream.
Psst...Post-racial America is figment of someone's imagination...not mine.
Gratitude EACH Day
I hope today is a day of gratitude, beauty and love NOT one of manipulative consumerism. Enjoy this video WHENEVER you need to be reminded.
http://www.ted.com/talks/louie_schwartzberg_nature_beauty_gratitude.html
Live...Love..Learn,
Hugs,
Lyn
http://www.ted.com/talks/louie_schwartzberg_nature_beauty_gratitude.html
Live...Love..Learn,
Hugs,
Lyn
Friday, September 9, 2011
Jumbled Thoughts...
Today my thoughts are jumbled... I've jotted some thoughts after US President Obama's America's Job Act speech which only complicated my 9/11 emotions and jumbled already whirling feelings. I grew up in New Jersey across the Hudson River from the World Trade Center Towers and there is a bit of family history about their construction.
Today more tears than words are coming. As soon as I can sort it out I'll put some words here about that inward journey.
Today more tears than words are coming. As soon as I can sort it out I'll put some words here about that inward journey.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Finding Joy
I'm grateful for the experiences that come my way; the people, the places, the things that trigger a smile, a tear, an idea and a fond memory. Some are not happy, yet they're not sad either, they just are. Accepting, without placing a value judgement on it, just being aware to revel in the present moment. Feel it all and enjoy it to the fullest, being thankful for the experience and opportunity to acknowledge the joy. Letting the joy ricochet off of others that cross my path each day, encouraging them in their efforts, listening with my heart and ears, relaxing in the joy, and expanding it for them and me.
Enjoy your day, find your joy and for goodness sake share it. Be well :)
Enjoy your day, find your joy and for goodness sake share it. Be well :)
Piesporter and ...
"L" is a fun smooth operator given to surprising me with my favorite cuppa green tea, with honey and cream when I least expect it. Sometimes he makes it or Starbucks does. He nuzzles my neck, massages my shoulders as I hunch over my laptop reviewing the latest draft of a bid proposal. We brainstorm and gather information to assist each other's work efforts and joke that we're having an "office romance". Our inside joke because we don't work for the same entity, were not in an office, but we're working on business projects. We give each other space and enjoy the outdoors, horse back riding, fishing, tending to chores on his ranch, my house or his.
He's tender, affectionate, intelligent, accomplished with a pretty secure sense of himself. An engineer by trade who works internationally, a native Texan by birth, and a wine enthusiast. His warped sense of humor can make me laugh til I cry. He's like his very own Marlboro Man, tall, tanned, sinewy and sexy. His sweat glistened torso is a turn on as are his wicked eye smiles. With his deep and melodious voice, phone interludes are precursors of fun times ahead. He dotes on his Mama and takes her shopping every week that he's in town. He's an all around good guy except for one thing.
His heart is guarded, he'll only let me so far in, which is fine. I enjoy him and have no desire to "own" him. His heart and soul still belong to his high school sweetheart who died. She broke up with him rather than tell him the grave nature of her terminal illness. Only finding out the truth AFTER she died. It cemented a deep seated anger and no relationship or belief in any god ever since. He "lost it", blew his academic scholarship, drowned his sorrows with pub crawling drunken blackouts; three years of self-inflicted hell by his accounts.
There's an unfillable hole I tiptoe around, almost regretting having asked the question that unraveled that mystery. His last interaction with her were angry words at the break up. He'll never see that she in her loving way was trying to spare him. I can't/won't compete with the ghost of that love; 2 other wives have tried. I choose to enjoy our time together, it is what it is. I can accept those terms of engagement because I too have lost my first love to brain cancer; I went to the convent to lick my wounds. I still don't know what or how he recovered himself and got back on track.
He tells me of the Piesporter he has in the fridge, it's German origin and how well it goes with dessert. He'll thank me again for the engraved corkscrew I gave him for his birthday like always. I enjoy being his student and his tender instruction. Now I wonder what's in the picnic baskets. For now, I'll settle for his tender embraces, the Piesporter and chocolate covered strawberry kisses while we listen to the Corrs and Corrinne Bailey-Rae.
He's tender, affectionate, intelligent, accomplished with a pretty secure sense of himself. An engineer by trade who works internationally, a native Texan by birth, and a wine enthusiast. His warped sense of humor can make me laugh til I cry. He's like his very own Marlboro Man, tall, tanned, sinewy and sexy. His sweat glistened torso is a turn on as are his wicked eye smiles. With his deep and melodious voice, phone interludes are precursors of fun times ahead. He dotes on his Mama and takes her shopping every week that he's in town. He's an all around good guy except for one thing.
His heart is guarded, he'll only let me so far in, which is fine. I enjoy him and have no desire to "own" him. His heart and soul still belong to his high school sweetheart who died. She broke up with him rather than tell him the grave nature of her terminal illness. Only finding out the truth AFTER she died. It cemented a deep seated anger and no relationship or belief in any god ever since. He "lost it", blew his academic scholarship, drowned his sorrows with pub crawling drunken blackouts; three years of self-inflicted hell by his accounts.
There's an unfillable hole I tiptoe around, almost regretting having asked the question that unraveled that mystery. His last interaction with her were angry words at the break up. He'll never see that she in her loving way was trying to spare him. I can't/won't compete with the ghost of that love; 2 other wives have tried. I choose to enjoy our time together, it is what it is. I can accept those terms of engagement because I too have lost my first love to brain cancer; I went to the convent to lick my wounds. I still don't know what or how he recovered himself and got back on track.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
More Than I Could Offer
"L", a past love interest, turned up and promptly read me the riot act. My memory tapes were spinning trying to remember what I had or hadn't done to merit this tongue lashing but I listened. He had been such a "smooth operator" and this outburst was so out of character, I knew it probably was something he'd been stewing about. When he finished, I realized what I perceived all along as a guarded personality was his defense mechanism in the midst of a health scare.
Through tears he told me I had abandoned him when he needed me most. Interesting, I thought "our thing" had run it's course and thought nothing more of it. I was post-divorce, playing the field and NOT putting down ties with anything or anybody; you know the "love 'em and leave 'em" mode of operation. His emotions were raw as he explained he'd undergone treatment for prostrate cancer. I could feel the blood drain from my face, all I could do was listen because I knew if he had told me before now I probably would have been of little moral support.
Years ago. my Dad had been through a successful round of treatments for the same malady with me as his sidekick. Just thinking about it makes me cry to this day. It was one of the few times I'd seen my all-powerful Dad weakened. I don't know if I'll ever be able to offer that level of support to anyone else in this lifetime. I began to cry, I'm sure "L" thinks it's about him and his situation. In truth, I realize he needed more than I could ever offer.
Through tears he told me I had abandoned him when he needed me most. Interesting, I thought "our thing" had run it's course and thought nothing more of it. I was post-divorce, playing the field and NOT putting down ties with anything or anybody; you know the "love 'em and leave 'em" mode of operation. His emotions were raw as he explained he'd undergone treatment for prostrate cancer. I could feel the blood drain from my face, all I could do was listen because I knew if he had told me before now I probably would have been of little moral support.
Years ago. my Dad had been through a successful round of treatments for the same malady with me as his sidekick. Just thinking about it makes me cry to this day. It was one of the few times I'd seen my all-powerful Dad weakened. I don't know if I'll ever be able to offer that level of support to anyone else in this lifetime. I began to cry, I'm sure "L" thinks it's about him and his situation. In truth, I realize he needed more than I could ever offer.
Perhaps...
Friends and acquaintances spend entirely too much time trying to "fix me up" in a romance. Romance is nowhere on my "bucket list", it will literally have to sneak up on me! I've been married twice and had my fair share of romances, but who's counting. These economic times have people, male and female, bartering and sacrificing their freedom for relationships. Times have never been so hard that I'd intentionally negotiate away my potential happiness. Although I've had to negotiate my freedom when leaving one of my marriages...another story for another day ;)
I couldn't help but chuckle when a work buddy was gushing that her OLD high school sweetheart tracked her down and wanted to pick up where they left off while failing to mention he had adult kids AND a set of preschoolers from his middle life crisis marriage that ended in divorce. My buddy's grand kids are in elementary school! I couldn't help but ask "cold water drench those burning embers?" She just says "too much water under that bridge" but I know exactly what she means. She actually does want another spouse...me not so much!
Burnt out on dating ... it's no fun dating the local chapter president of "My X-wife is a bitch, and I'm no Angel" "You're probably a Bitch too" "I'm still not Over my X-wife" Oh, hell no, that's the very last thing needed in my life. Taking ownership for the demise or non-existence of a relationship indicates a self-awareness, what one brings to a relationship, good and not so good. Surprisingly, many people don't make an effort to discover it. None of my serious relationships are with men with children; it adds a layer of complexity that I prefer not to deal with. My only attempt at one of those had multiple excursions to nearly every ring of Dante's Inferno, too much drama for this gal.
No one's life requires that much crap. Yes I said it, one would be certifiably crazy to attempt to take that on, OR would be before all was said and done. The relationship was about time slices for his past lives ( aka marriages 1 & 2). There really wasn't enough time or him to go around. He had been, done and seen so much of the world and wasn't willing to see them through my eyes or share the experience. He suspected there was a younger rival for my affection with less responsibilities. He noted how beautiful Fall walks on the beach awaited us. I smiled "Perhaps". I could feel the Eiffel tower and palm tree charms on my life bracelet swinging as I made a quick exit getting out of there.
My older suitor, had opened my eyes to so many facets of life and my heart to what I needed and it was his young rival. Thus began my Cougar Life. I don't have the all answers. I know where I've been, don't know what the future holds BUT I know I have a better chance of finding answers looking inward rather than out there in a bar. I'm not into bar hopping/bed hopping and there's no benefit for me to add that to my skill set. I'm looking inward, working on becoming my best me. IF he shows up, I'll recognize him and his heart filled with a simpatico energy that makes for a pleasant walk into the sunset. Until then I'll stay on the sidelines enjoying my life rather than whining "Where are all the good men?"
I couldn't help but chuckle when a work buddy was gushing that her OLD high school sweetheart tracked her down and wanted to pick up where they left off while failing to mention he had adult kids AND a set of preschoolers from his middle life crisis marriage that ended in divorce. My buddy's grand kids are in elementary school! I couldn't help but ask "cold water drench those burning embers?" She just says "too much water under that bridge" but I know exactly what she means. She actually does want another spouse...me not so much!
Burnt out on dating ... it's no fun dating the local chapter president of "My X-wife is a bitch, and I'm no Angel" "You're probably a Bitch too" "I'm still not Over my X-wife" Oh, hell no, that's the very last thing needed in my life. Taking ownership for the demise or non-existence of a relationship indicates a self-awareness, what one brings to a relationship, good and not so good. Surprisingly, many people don't make an effort to discover it. None of my serious relationships are with men with children; it adds a layer of complexity that I prefer not to deal with. My only attempt at one of those had multiple excursions to nearly every ring of Dante's Inferno, too much drama for this gal.
No one's life requires that much crap. Yes I said it, one would be certifiably crazy to attempt to take that on, OR would be before all was said and done. The relationship was about time slices for his past lives ( aka marriages 1 & 2). There really wasn't enough time or him to go around. He had been, done and seen so much of the world and wasn't willing to see them through my eyes or share the experience. He suspected there was a younger rival for my affection with less responsibilities. He noted how beautiful Fall walks on the beach awaited us. I smiled "Perhaps". I could feel the Eiffel tower and palm tree charms on my life bracelet swinging as I made a quick exit getting out of there.
My older suitor, had opened my eyes to so many facets of life and my heart to what I needed and it was his young rival. Thus began my Cougar Life. I don't have the all answers. I know where I've been, don't know what the future holds BUT I know I have a better chance of finding answers looking inward rather than out there in a bar. I'm not into bar hopping/bed hopping and there's no benefit for me to add that to my skill set. I'm looking inward, working on becoming my best me. IF he shows up, I'll recognize him and his heart filled with a simpatico energy that makes for a pleasant walk into the sunset. Until then I'll stay on the sidelines enjoying my life rather than whining "Where are all the good men?"
Monday, September 5, 2011
Labor Day - Traditional End of Summer
Labor Day traditionally marks the end of summer and getting back to school. This year feels so different, I'm so ambivalent. Happy the summer hellish 100 degree days have broken; sad the drought stunted local produce isn't the usual beautiful abundance; perplexed about the "surprises" the Fall/Winter will bring.
As my second back-to-school campaign passes without my active participation, I'm easing into learning more about the individual I've become or probably always was. It's a challenge I'm working on; pulling back the layers searching for the pure essence. My 8-year-old dreamer self differs from my recent version which revolved around work life and motherhood. The economy has put the kibosh on already dwindling business contracts and my teenage son is seeing the world, soldiering in Uncle Sam's Army. Refining the essence of me continues.
I've had the proverbial Eat, Pray, Love short/starter marriage and a longer one, even though marriage was never my life goal nor was having a family. I'm happy to have the opportunity to try both, just enjoyed the kid-part better than the husband-part of it all. My dreams and goals beyond diapers and dishes don't fit nicely into the "Leave it to Beaver" June Cleaver role I was expected to wear. I'm a better partner/team member in a relationship than a traditional wife. Big hint: I've always had my birth name, never changed it with marriage, my identity is important.
Continually negotiating my role's boundaries, an emotional drain, not worth my effort in the grand scheme of things. I found squeezing five pounds of poo into a one pound bag is a no-win shitty situation. Walking out of marriage twice was a better alternative than going to prison for mayhem and MANslaughter. I've known an emotionally and intellectually secure man was essential for a chance at a happy relationship with healthy give-and-take humor and adventure. It's not surprising I married a fellow graduate school student and eventually a fellow career-oriented manager. I sure learned a lot about the male ego, "winning", and a desire to tame another. My high spirited and independent nature neither wants or needs to be tamed, merely to be shared and enjoyed.
Today I celebrate my fellow workers, hoping better opportunities come our way this next year. I also celebrate people who continue to labor on being their best while living life on their terms, JOB or no job!
Psst...pay attention to the people who come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime and what they teach you about yourself :)
As my second back-to-school campaign passes without my active participation, I'm easing into learning more about the individual I've become or probably always was. It's a challenge I'm working on; pulling back the layers searching for the pure essence. My 8-year-old dreamer self differs from my recent version which revolved around work life and motherhood. The economy has put the kibosh on already dwindling business contracts and my teenage son is seeing the world, soldiering in Uncle Sam's Army. Refining the essence of me continues.
I've had the proverbial Eat, Pray, Love short/starter marriage and a longer one, even though marriage was never my life goal nor was having a family. I'm happy to have the opportunity to try both, just enjoyed the kid-part better than the husband-part of it all. My dreams and goals beyond diapers and dishes don't fit nicely into the "Leave it to Beaver" June Cleaver role I was expected to wear. I'm a better partner/team member in a relationship than a traditional wife. Big hint: I've always had my birth name, never changed it with marriage, my identity is important.
Continually negotiating my role's boundaries, an emotional drain, not worth my effort in the grand scheme of things. I found squeezing five pounds of poo into a one pound bag is a no-win shitty situation. Walking out of marriage twice was a better alternative than going to prison for mayhem and MANslaughter. I've known an emotionally and intellectually secure man was essential for a chance at a happy relationship with healthy give-and-take humor and adventure. It's not surprising I married a fellow graduate school student and eventually a fellow career-oriented manager. I sure learned a lot about the male ego, "winning", and a desire to tame another. My high spirited and independent nature neither wants or needs to be tamed, merely to be shared and enjoyed.
Today I celebrate my fellow workers, hoping better opportunities come our way this next year. I also celebrate people who continue to labor on being their best while living life on their terms, JOB or no job!
Psst...pay attention to the people who come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime and what they teach you about yourself :)
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Smelling the Roses Along the Way
All too frequently we "wait" our lives away, postponing living fully until everything is just right. Many times saying "Oh, I can wait. I'll do that when the kids are grown or when I retire..." My choices were to live a little and enjoy life a little, just in case I don't live to see retirement. The forked longevity branch of my family tree indicates odds of becoming a centenarian are likely OR barely making it to retirement, not much middle ground.
I stumbled upon that philosophy while working in data processing for the Pension Group of Prudential (Pru) Insurance while in graduate school for what I thought was a summer job. My programming efforts supported actuaries in gathering data and modeling it for pension contracts and monitoring proof of mathematical concept. Translation: actuarial models proved the potential retiree would kick the bucket or beat the odds so Pru was gonna have to pay up and not make a profit on the pension contract. Pru was stacking the deckand fixing pricing just like the casinos in Las Vegas!
Back then, the statistical models showed the average employee only lived 18 months in retirement IF they lived to retire. Well that was one helluva an eye opener which made me pack some living into my own life. I bought myself a Christian Dior gold watch in lieu of receiving one at retirement, making sure to enjoy life and smell the roses along the way when I could. Season theater tickets, road trips, long weekends, and chunks of extended vacation time have permitted a month in the Hawaiian Islands, another sailing the Caribbean, and another exploring California and it's wineries.
Shorter adventures included summer weekends in The Hamptons, sailing the Chesapeake and The Sound, Mom & Son road trips across the United States, cruises in the eastern and western Caribbean, and the veritable family treks to Disneyland and annual visits to our Disney World timeshare; some for family reunions and others just to escape reality. Many adventures before, during, after getting married and having kids.
Reading and exploring social media have ingnited inward journeys. Now, I'm cooling my jets as the US economy burps and farts it's way to making sure retirement isn't an option. Consulting contracts for the past year have been slim. It's a long haul to pension-eligible age 65 to collect from the telecommunications company where I spent the bulk of my work life. Thanks to Papa for keeping his foot in my arse to work toward pension vesting and save for retirement and Mom's reminders that timing is rarely ever perfect. Those thoughts have kept me afloat as I continue to smell the roses.
Truthfully the way this is all shaking out, I'd be really ticked to have sacrificed living fully, waiting for a retirement OR the Social Security check that may never materialize.
Psst... Twitter pals introduced me to more TV shows than I ever imagined existed! Who knew? :)
I stumbled upon that philosophy while working in data processing for the Pension Group of Prudential (Pru) Insurance while in graduate school for what I thought was a summer job. My programming efforts supported actuaries in gathering data and modeling it for pension contracts and monitoring proof of mathematical concept. Translation: actuarial models proved the potential retiree would kick the bucket or beat the odds so Pru was gonna have to pay up and not make a profit on the pension contract. Pru was stacking the deckand fixing pricing just like the casinos in Las Vegas!
Back then, the statistical models showed the average employee only lived 18 months in retirement IF they lived to retire. Well that was one helluva an eye opener which made me pack some living into my own life. I bought myself a Christian Dior gold watch in lieu of receiving one at retirement, making sure to enjoy life and smell the roses along the way when I could. Season theater tickets, road trips, long weekends, and chunks of extended vacation time have permitted a month in the Hawaiian Islands, another sailing the Caribbean, and another exploring California and it's wineries.
Shorter adventures included summer weekends in The Hamptons, sailing the Chesapeake and The Sound, Mom & Son road trips across the United States, cruises in the eastern and western Caribbean, and the veritable family treks to Disneyland and annual visits to our Disney World timeshare; some for family reunions and others just to escape reality. Many adventures before, during, after getting married and having kids.
Reading and exploring social media have ingnited inward journeys. Now, I'm cooling my jets as the US economy burps and farts it's way to making sure retirement isn't an option. Consulting contracts for the past year have been slim. It's a long haul to pension-eligible age 65 to collect from the telecommunications company where I spent the bulk of my work life. Thanks to Papa for keeping his foot in my arse to work toward pension vesting and save for retirement and Mom's reminders that timing is rarely ever perfect. Those thoughts have kept me afloat as I continue to smell the roses.
Truthfully the way this is all shaking out, I'd be really ticked to have sacrificed living fully, waiting for a retirement OR the Social Security check that may never materialize.
Psst... Twitter pals introduced me to more TV shows than I ever imagined existed! Who knew? :)
Saturday, September 3, 2011
I Watched and Read Blogs For Awhile, NOW ...
...it's time to dive in. I've been keeping a journal for the past year after putting it on the back burner for years. I'm an empty-nester since my teenager joined the Army last year. I'm not sure who has made the quantum leap, he or I?
He has journeyed across this country and seas as he leaves the nest, taking giant steps on his path to adulthood. Now I'm having to do the same venturing forth on my own path of self-discovery. All the "smelling the roses along the way" didn't prepare me as much as expected. Therein lies the rub...expectations...brittle ones at that. Thinking four years in college provided plenty of time to loosen the ties that bind one to a protracted childhood. Who knew the cultivated independent streak I relished, would bite so deep?
Learned about the 90-in-90, via Twitter, from Ball State University Journalism professor, Brad King, who encouraged his students to write each day, completing 90 entries during that time. A great idea to unpack some emotional baggage and unburden my soul, just not in public on the Internet. His students had specific goals while others were hitting their stride just settling down to write something each day. A group of his writers wrote AND published a book on their own time. If I Leave Here Tomorrow: Tales of Risk and Rebirth by Invictus Writers Vol 1 is a collection of spirit moving essays. Comforting, as I embraced their transitions that all young adults endure and are better for the experience.
Scribbling each day, just a few jots abouts my emotional roller coaster as it roared down the steep valleys, bounded sharp curves and chugged up the steep highs; just in my journal. Following the winding roads that are part of the parent-child experience while doing things that are in each of our own best interests. Still leaving room for each to come and go as Uncle Sam permits. Encouraging each other to make the most of each day because there's no rosy future promised to anyone!
Psst ... Check out their book
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005EGIJAS or here
https://www.lulu.com/commerce/index.php?fBuyContent=10963643
He has journeyed across this country and seas as he leaves the nest, taking giant steps on his path to adulthood. Now I'm having to do the same venturing forth on my own path of self-discovery. All the "smelling the roses along the way" didn't prepare me as much as expected. Therein lies the rub...expectations...brittle ones at that. Thinking four years in college provided plenty of time to loosen the ties that bind one to a protracted childhood. Who knew the cultivated independent streak I relished, would bite so deep?
Learned about the 90-in-90, via Twitter, from Ball State University Journalism professor, Brad King, who encouraged his students to write each day, completing 90 entries during that time. A great idea to unpack some emotional baggage and unburden my soul, just not in public on the Internet. His students had specific goals while others were hitting their stride just settling down to write something each day. A group of his writers wrote AND published a book on their own time. If I Leave Here Tomorrow: Tales of Risk and Rebirth by Invictus Writers Vol 1 is a collection of spirit moving essays. Comforting, as I embraced their transitions that all young adults endure and are better for the experience.
Scribbling each day, just a few jots abouts my emotional roller coaster as it roared down the steep valleys, bounded sharp curves and chugged up the steep highs; just in my journal. Following the winding roads that are part of the parent-child experience while doing things that are in each of our own best interests. Still leaving room for each to come and go as Uncle Sam permits. Encouraging each other to make the most of each day because there's no rosy future promised to anyone!
Psst ... Check out their book
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005EGIJAS or here
https://www.lulu.com/commerce/index.php?fBuyContent=10963643
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