Friends and acquaintances spend entirely too much time trying to "fix me up" in a romance. Romance is nowhere on my "bucket list", it will literally have to sneak up on me! I've been married twice and had my fair share of romances, but who's counting. These economic times have people, male and female, bartering and sacrificing their freedom for relationships. Times have never been so hard that I'd intentionally negotiate away my potential happiness. Although I've had to negotiate my freedom when leaving one of my marriages...another story for another day ;)
I couldn't help but chuckle when a work buddy was gushing that her OLD high school sweetheart tracked her down and wanted to pick up where they left off while failing to mention he had adult kids AND a set of preschoolers from his middle life crisis marriage that ended in divorce. My buddy's grand kids are in elementary school! I couldn't help but ask "cold water drench those burning embers?" She just says "too much water under that bridge" but I know exactly what she means. She actually does want another spouse...me not so much!
Burnt out on dating ... it's no fun dating the local chapter president of "My X-wife is a bitch, and I'm no Angel" "You're probably a Bitch too" "I'm still not Over my X-wife" Oh, hell no, that's the very last thing needed in my life. Taking ownership for the demise or non-existence of a relationship indicates a self-awareness, what one brings to a relationship, good and not so good. Surprisingly, many people don't make an effort to discover it. None of my serious relationships are with men with children; it adds a layer of complexity that I prefer not to deal with. My only attempt at one of those had multiple excursions to nearly every ring of Dante's Inferno, too much drama for this gal.
No one's life requires that much crap. Yes I said it, one would be certifiably crazy to attempt to take that on, OR would be before all was said and done. The relationship was about time slices for his past lives ( aka marriages 1 & 2). There really wasn't enough time or him to go around. He had been, done and seen so much of the world and wasn't willing to see them through my eyes or share the experience. He suspected there was a younger rival for my affection with less responsibilities. He noted how beautiful Fall walks on the beach awaited us. I smiled "Perhaps". I could feel the Eiffel tower and palm tree charms on my life bracelet swinging as I made a quick exit getting out of there.
My older suitor, had opened my eyes to so many facets of life and my heart to what I needed and it was his young rival. Thus began my Cougar Life. I don't have the all answers. I know where I've been, don't know what the future holds BUT I know I have a better chance of finding answers looking inward rather than out there in a bar. I'm not into bar hopping/bed hopping and there's no benefit for me to add that to my skill set. I'm looking inward, working on becoming my best me. IF he shows up, I'll recognize him and his heart filled with a simpatico energy that makes for a pleasant walk into the sunset. Until then I'll stay on the sidelines enjoying my life rather than whining "Where are all the good men?"
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